I Feel Like I Am Breathing Being a Doctor

Two days before Christmas I wake up with the worst sore throat, so I go to urgent care and I have freakin strep throat. Really?! So I had to hibernate for a day and a half and then begin the preparation of THE FEAST. I made 2 apple pies Friday night, from scratch and then for Christmas I made a turkey that I had been brining for 16 hours (if you haven't tried a brined turkey you should, it's spectacular) and then we had roasted garlic mashed potatoes, greens, candied yams, a ham and then cranberries and rolls. It was so good. I love cooking for my family. It's not a big deal for a lot of people but I think food is an important part of memories that are created and cherished. You always remember your favorite foods that your mom or grandmother made as you grew up. I will always remember my Nana's tortillas ( I totally can't make mine like hers even with the same recipe) and her beans and rice. They were the best. I can use all the same ingredients she used, but mine just doesn't taste the same.  I didn't know any better when I was younger and I didn't write down any of her recipes so a lot of the things she made are lost to me. I'm trying to create my own food traditions with my family now.

Aside from that my Christmas was wonderful. My little guys got a whole bunch of presents and had so much fun seeing what "Santa" brought them. They are so amazing. My 3 year old got a basketball and he yelled at the window "Thank you Santa!" It was the cutest thing ever. Of course my ever so observant 6 year old asked me today why it was that Santa didn't get all of the things that he asked for on his list. I said sometimes Santa thinks that you need other stuff more. He seemed content with that answer but he was still thinking about it. He is so my son. I realized this Christmas that I had to be careful with the wrapping paper that I used for Santa's presents because he is so observant that he would notice that Mommy and Daddy used the same paper as Santa. He went to my mother's last weekend and she had some presents for him and told him that Santa had come to her house early to bring them. He told me,"Granny said that Santa had brought special presents to her house early, but I know that Granny got them. I saw the wrapping paper in the closet." Then he chuckled as if to say "Who does she think she's fooling?"

I got a couple presents from my aunt, uncle and my mother-in-law which I really liked but I have realized that the little stuff doesn't matter as much as having your family around and loving where your are in life, and I truly do right now. We don't have the money to buy everything we want all the time and having one care kind of sucks but I know it will be worth it. I watched this video today and this guy is talking about what it means to be successful. He said,"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath, then you will be successful." I am feeling that in so many ways and even through the doubts I have about the difficulties we may have financially while I am going to school, I know it is what I am supposed to be doing and I want it more than I've ever wanted anything else in my life. I feel like I am breathing being a doctor, like figuring out where my path is leading to has become part of me and I eat, sleep and breath it now. It feels as natural as being a mommy, there is no question as to whether or not I will do it, its just a matter of how I will do it. I love my life.