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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I'm the Proudest Mommy Ever

The last two weeks have been super busy with papers, tests and a speech but I'm here, I got through them and now I have a little down time, so to speak. Organic chemistry test #2 was yesterday and walking away from that test I had a better feeling then on the first test. I also had a physics test that I definitely did horrible on but I expected that because I didn't study for it at all since I also had a speech to give on Monday. I killed the speech though. Despite being ridonkulously nervous I knew my subject (parents changing their child's diet) very well because it has become a passion of mine and I was really looking forward to it. I am all about the food rainbow. ;-)

So I have come to the realization that I am not supposed to be working at this point in time. I don't pretend to be someone who preaches about God or what he has or hasn't done in my life because I am not, but there are certain things I have chosen in my life that I feel have been directed by God/a higher power/whatever you call that force. For me, becoming a doctor is a path chosen by God and I have accepted that path. The struggle concerning me working has been ongoing this last month. There have been a couple of positions I have applied for or wanted to apply for but many of them were pulled from the job board before I had a chance to apply or I never received a call back. I feel that if I forced the issue I would find a job but I have found that listening to God's subtle plans takes a great deal of patience and understanding and this is very much a time where I have to sit back and listen. I went many years not listening to the signs I was receiving from God. Many of the signs were not even subtle, they were blatant and obvious but I was not open to hear them. I have now accepted my path and the life that accompanies it even though it has been a struggle financially at times I know that it is all part of the path and these struggles will pass. One day I know we will be able to look back and say "Now I understand what You wanted us to learn from this," just like a parent does to his/her child.

I registered for Spring 2013 classes on Monday. My schedule is pretty nice. I will still be able to work comfortably on my research project for 2 credits while taking another 14 credits. I think the most difficu lt part will be having 2 online classes that last 8 weeks each. They do not occur concurrently but they are like summer school classes where you cram 16 weeks into half the time. I think I can swing it though and still be able to study for the MCAT and begin working on my personal statement. My goal right now is to take the test on May 30th and then begin the application process shortly after that. This timing will allow me to study throughout the semester and then have 3 full weeks after classes end to study for the MCAT. Applications open in the very beginning of June so I will have some sort of timetable as to when I will receive my scores back. Aaaaaaaaaahhh! It's so scary and exciting all at the same time.

On Saturday my biggest little person turns 8 years old. I feel like I don't know where the last 8 years went in many ways because I remember everything about being pregnant with him, having him and just being able to stare at this awesome little person for the first time. This past weekend he scored his first touchdown and he was so excited he didn't know what to do with himself and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin from excitement. I think that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding by far. Few days go by where I don't look at him and just think, "He's so awesome!" I am the proudest mommy ever

Monday, October 8, 2012

God I Think I'm Going to Need a Bigger Plate, My Life Doesn't Fit on This One

I had one of the most relaxing weekends that I have had since school started, despite having to write an abstract for a paper on Saturday. In truth, I took naps on Saturday and Sunday and despite planning on studying for several hours on Sunday, I did not touch my backpack except to look at my agenda and consider what I could have been doing but did not do. It was more of a family weekend though because my oldest had a football game on Saturday with Sunday being more of Mommy Duty Day because I had to go grocery shopping. I did get a few hours of me time when I ran on Sunday morning though. Last week was one of the only weeks this semester where I was actually able to run 3 times. It felt really good to be able to do that and Sunday's run of 7.5 miles equaled my longest run distance. While my legs are screaming at me a bit today, it feels really good to know that I was able to make time for that because it is so important to me and my well being. My goal is to run 3 times this week as well and surpass 7.5 miles on my long day. Being able to say that I am relatively up to date on all my school work is pretty amazing too. My goal now is to stay on top of all of it and begin studying now for my tests 2 weeks from today.

So my organic chemistry instructor is my favorite person in the world right now. He told us this morning that he is grading all of our take home tests that he gave us for extra credit himself and not having his instructional aids grade them because he wants to make sure that we are getting all of the possible points we can. Since we have to get at least an 80% on it to get the points, it means a great deal that he is willing to do that. If I am able to swing the 40 points that could be added to my grade, this would literally SAVE MY ASS! I would at least have a B in the class which I can actually work with. Anything lower starts to get hard to work with and would diminish my hopes of maintaining my GPA at the level I need it to be. Medical schools look at your overall GPA and your science GPA when you apply and I have worked very hard to get mostly A's with a couple B's in all of my science classes. Getting a C would kill me. We get them back on Wednesday so prayers are more than welcome. Lol!

I received a very welcome surprise on Friday. On my way to class I received a phone call from a law office I had applied to that needed an administrative assistant for 6-10 hours a week. I had assumed that they had filled the position already because it was no longer on the job board at school but apparently that was not the case. She had left a message and by the time I was able to return the phone call it was late afternoon but I was in luck because she had not yet left the office to pick up her kids. She wanted to know what my availability was so that she could discuss with her partner who best fit their needs. I told her my available times and we chatted a little bit about our kids who are very similar in age. She ended the phone call telling me she needed to confer with her partner and that she would call or email me back to let me know of their decision. Needless to say, I am still waiting and I am going crazy with anticipation. I have been praying about this a lot lately because financially, my family could really use this, but at the same time I worry about how this will affect everything else. It could threaten the balance I have been able to maintain with school and taking care of myself and my family. Our financial status has almost reached a level of desperation though so perhaps this is what God wants me to do. I will continue to pray and see if and when the call comes. He always answers my prayers, though at times they are not the answers I hope to get. In the end, He is always right and so I hope and pray for the strength to surrender to what is placed in my life.