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Friday, November 8, 2013

"Don't Be Afraid to Give Up the Good and Go For the Great."

What a difference a month makes. Sooooooo, I had been really interested in pursuing my master's in nutrition next year since I am taking a year off before starting osteopathic school. I tried to make an appointment to talk to someone in the graduate program to find out if it was truly doable in one year but before I was able to sit down with someone I got some (mildly) unexpected news. I am pregnant. Yep, I said it, I am pregnant with my 3rd child. We have always said that we wanted another child after our youngest was born, 6 years ago, but it just didn't seem like we could figure out when the right time would be for us to have one. We made the decision to roll the dice and see what God had in store and apparently He felt like this was the right time for us to add to our family. This truly is the best time and our family is really excited about the coming baby. I am due in June which is perfect timing because my husband and I will both be graduating in May, me with my Bachelors' and him with his Associates'. Fingers crossed, we will have a girl. I love my boys but I think we have enough testosterone in our house. ;-) My mother-in-law REALLY wants us to have a girl. She has 7 grandchildren and only 1 girl. The most interesting part of this has been coping with how I am feeling and still getting all of my work done. Pregnancy brain and pregnancy exhaustion have been winning out in many situations but I am still managing to maintain 5 A's and 2 B's. I can say that I am ready for this semester to be over though. I am looking forward to a 13 credit semester and only 1 in person class.

So aside from my classes, I am also in the process of searching for an internship for next semester. I am really hoping to get an internship I just applied for at the School of Osteopathic Medicine in Arizona in their virtual anatomy lab. I think it could be an awesome opportunity to make connections and get my name out there. For my major, I am required to complete an internship in order to graduate. I think it is a really great part of the degree plan as well because many students, myself included, find it difficult to participate in activities outside of school that help us get experience in the field we are interested in. I am praying that I get to do the internships I am most interested in but I am leaving it in God's hands.

With all of this craziness that has been my life the last month, I had started doubting whether or not osteopathic school was the best thing for me to do for my family. I started thinking that committing that much time to school would make me a bad mom, especially for the new baby. I really started thinking that maybe I should become a PA because the schooling takes less time and there wouldn't be the need for a residency or fellowship. I really tried to convince myself that it would be best for my family. I brought up the topic with my husband, expecting him to be completely supportive and I was surprised when he said, "But is that what you really want? Are you going to be happy if you do that instead of medical school? You have done all of this work to get to medical school and if you are going to change your mind you need to make sure it's what you really want. Time with the kids should not be the reason you change your mind. You will always make time for them and they will be alright." (not exact quotes, but you get the idea) TOTALLY NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! I told him that I was still thinking about it but his strong reaction really made me think. A couple of days later I saw a quote from Steve Prefontaine, "Don't be afraid to give up the good and go for the great." It really made me think about what it was I wanted from my life, what it was my heart really wanted. The more I looked into what a PA can and cannot do, I really started to question the idea. I prayed about it and really tried to listen to my heart and what I decided was this: I could be a really good PA and like my job, or I could give that up and be a really great osteopath and truly love my career, my life's calling. This is why I married the man that I married, he knows my heart.