He's the Bestest!!

I feel like this semester has already been so long but its only been 4 1/2 weeks. I'm so ready to graduate and move on to the Big Kid School (ASU lol!) I'm so excited to move on and change up my schedule a little. In my imagination I think that I will be able to get a part time campus job when I get to ASU, but the reality is that I probably will not be able to because I will have to spend a lot of time studying for my classes, the MCAT, and trying to do some volunteer work that will hopefully enable me to get a foot in the door at SOMA (School of Osteopathic Medicine in Arizona). That school is my ultimate goal because they have branched off from Kirksville Osteopathic School which is the OG, triple OG, OG school for osteopathic medicine. I look at their website at least once a month to look at what lies ahead. I sit and drool like a little kid.

So having my husband home has been really amazing. For me, it's also a time for him to see what it is that I do at home trying to juggle schoolwork, little people and all the other mommy and wife stuff. I'm really excited for him to start doing his skills training and coaching though. I know its what he really loves and really wants to do. I totally get his passion and love for the game and its nice because its something we still share. He told me the other night that I was totally a basketball wife because we can sit and talk basketball, new and old, and I don't sound like a dumb ass (he didn't say that but I know that's what he meant LOL!). I have the best husband ever! There are not too many people I can be around all the time without them really getting on my nerves (children included sometimes) but he has managed to be that person. I love just being in his presence. I love making him laugh and laughing with him. I love that he wants to be a great father (not good, GREAT!). I love everything about him (although I don't always get the whole video game thing)! He is truly the bestest person ever! To say just husband sets limits because we are so much more than just husband and wife. Ruv you bracka boy!

If You Listen, HE Will Answer

So I got a 96 on my anatomy & physiology test (WOOOOO-HOOOOO!!!) and a 15.5/20 on my chemistry quiz. I'm a little irritated with myself for making stupid mistakes on my chemistry quiz. Oh well, at least it was just the quiz and not the test, which is next Monday. I learned my lesson, STOP PROCRASTINATING ABOUT STUDYING! It's hard to break a life long habit though. I'm getting there, I'm still a work in progress. I am very satisfied with how school is going this semester. I'm pretty sure that I can get all A's. I just applied to ASU and I am trying to get all my stuff together so I can get it done early and not have to be rushing at the last minute. I think that I am going to try and take BIO 202 in the summer assuming that we can get the money to pay for it and I can find daycare for the kids. It would be a weight lifted off my shoulders because I was kind of dreading taking it at ASU and it will be one less class I have to take. We will see though.

So my husband got a call yesterday and was told not to return to his job. He was a temporary employee and he was waiting to find out if they were going to hire him permanently. So he got his answer. It is both ironic and impactful that he got the call yesterday instead of Monday. On Monday I paid everything off and had he found out about his job situation then, I would have probably reconsidered paying everything off. God has a plan though and this is all just part of it. My husband so badly wants to work with kids developing basketball skills and eventually coaching. I think this is his opportunity to do what his passion leads him to and love what he's doing. It sounds crazy to be thankful for being fired from a job, but it can allow you to put things in perspective, explore your options and really do so some soul searching. It took me almost a year to figure out that I wanted to go back to school and another year to find my true calling of becoming a physician. I am not one to preach about God, but He truly does answer your prayers and shows you where you need to be if you are willing to truly listen to Him. God is good.

Pay that s*%# off!! Whew!

I just finished taking a test that I didn't totally feel prepared for, but when I sat down and went through it I realized I was ready. I think in my mind I always feel under-prepared but that's the overachiever in me. It was an anatomy & physiology test so I am really excited that I knew the material pretty well. In this class though, I feel like the lab is more difficult than the lecture portion. We have already gone through the bones of the skull, thoracic cavity and vertebrae, which we have to memorize and we'll be starting on the the pelvis and limbs tomorrow. We have to have this all memorized in 2 weeks when we take our lab practical. I've done pretty well so far, but when you look at it as a whole it seems so overwhelming. In the back of my mind I know I will do well but there's always that doubt. I really love it though. I am so freakin excited about the cadavers though. It used to be what freaked me out when I was younger but it's the most fascinating part to me now.

Part of the reason I didn't feel as prepared for the test as I could have is also because I didn't study as much this weekend as I would have liked to because I was really busy doing other stuff. I spent some time with my best friend since high school, went to a baby shower and watched a high school basketball game, and that was just Saturday. On Sunday, I had to throw down of course and I made green chile, rice and beans. My husband made ribs and chicken on the grill which was pretty phenomenal. I absolutely love food and I love cooking for the people I love. My oldest son told me that I am the best cook in the world the other day which was really cool (he also told me I was the best mommy in the world which was pretty amazing :-). I also realized that its a little difficult to study after a 1 or 2 or 8 beers. Lol! Probably not the best idea I ever had. It was a great weekend though and I still managed to do well on my A&P test and my chemistry quiz. It's a good start to a good week.

We get to pay off my car and my husband's truck that was totalled out in the hail storm a few months ago. We also get to pay off a few credit cards. It is the most amazing feeling. I am also going to be applying to ASU this week and to the honor society for community colleges which will hopefully help me get some scholarships for ASU. It means I get to wear the stuff you always see people wearing when they graduate but don't know what it means. LOL! I get pretty stuff to wear! Totally kidding, its so much more important than that. It will make my transcripts look spectacular and may help me get into the honors college at ASU, hopefully. I'm still wondering if that is totally worth it, the whole honors college thing. Its seems like it may be very helpful in getting me accepted into a osteopathic/medical school but I need to do some more research into that. I have been told that the workload would be too much but we shall see. Great week!

Everything Is So Exciting!! I Love Life!

So this semester is going to be a tough one but I am enjoying it a lot. My anatomy & physiology class alone is a whole lot of stuff to put in your brain. I figured out that I can practice by telling my husband and boys where there bones are and what they are called. It's so cool! I can't wait until we get to the cadavers. It used to be something that freaked me out, but not I want to the full experience and to see what we are learning about up close and personal. IT'S SO EXCITING!!! I'm a dork. My trigonometry class is a lot to take in for me. I feel like he's speaking a foreign language sometimes when we're in class. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the concepts. As long as I can get through this class (with an A no less) I will be cool and I will be done with math classes. Whew!

So I'm going to be applying to Arizona State Univ. soon so that's kind of exciting. It's bigger than the university I went to before so it's a little intimidating to me, but I'm really looking forward to it. It will make some of my days pretty long and it will truly be like I'm working a 40 hour a week job but I can't wait. Let's just pray that I get my financial aid together and I can scoop up some scholarships to cover everything. (Which I have procrastinated about the last few months because I should have already been on that. Hindsight is 20/20 though, right?) I feel like I'll be going to big kid school now. Lol!

Aside from that, life has been very enjoyable. My husband and I will be able to pay off my car and some of our credit cards with our tax return and my financial aid which is a huge weight lifted. It lessens the struggle and lets me focus on my school work more. It's pretty spectacular I have to say. We went to a Suns-Celtics game on Friday and sat in the 11th row behind the Celtics bench (We are big Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen fans!) and I about died. I felt like I was going to play the game I was so hyped up. They lost to the freakin Suns (who I would like on any other day) but it was so much fun. I won't even go into how much those tickets cost us, but it was our little splurge and it was totally worth it to spend that time with my husband. I also had the most fascinating experience at a gay bar on Saturday. Someone told my sister-in-law and I we made a cute couple (FYI: neither one of us is gay; I was at a party for the girlfriend of a friend of mine) which was flattering, I think, and we were totally mesmerized by the wonderful dancing gay men. I saw a guy that made me jealous in his tight little jeans. He had amazing legs and spectacular butt. There were all these line dances that it seemed like everyone knew but us. I don't even like country music but I kinda want to learn one of these dances! It was a whole lot of fun. I am paying for my weekend escapades though because it is Tuesday and I am still tired. Totally worth it though!!

God Always Finds a Way to Provide for Us

I am so happy about school starting. I was kind of scared about this semester because I felt like it was going to be more difficult than my last 2 semesters, but I think I both overestimated the classes and underestimated my own capabilities. True, it has only been 2 days, but my instructors seem to be very straight forward as to what is expected and I feel like I won't have the problems I thought that I would. It's nice to have a more structured day though. As much as I like to be off with my little people and spend time with them, I like having something to do everyday and time to myself, even if it is in class. All 4 of my instructors seem to really know their stuff and I have found that even if the material is difficult, if the instructor really understands the content and has a very set way in which to present it, the class is enjoyable for me and I can learn. I never knew what it meant to love to learn until now. I enjoy everything that I learn everyday and I enjoy passing it on to those around me. It creates such confidence and an increasing hunger and thirst for knowledge. If this feeling could be bottled I would be a millionaire. I can only hope that one day my boys feel this way about their education. Nothing would make me happier than my boys being open to learning about everything around them and what they have a passion for in life.

Recently, my husband found out that he may not be kept at his current job because he was temporary and they don't like that he had a misdemeanor in his past. They are supposed to make a decision by next Monday but have also made it clear that they don't particularly care for him. I have been praying for God to provide us with what we need and for him to show my husband what path he should be on. Well, today we got my husband's W-2 from his previous employer and I also discovered that the W-2 for his current employer was available online so I was able to do our taxes tonight and we should be getting our return next Friday. On top of that, we are getting almost double what I thought we would be getting. God has provided for us when we have asked and I truly feel that it is because we are doing everything possible to stay on the path that we need to be on. I know though that He wants more for my husband but I just don't know what it is. My husband is one of the greatest men I have ever known and he has so much potential but I don't think he has felt in his heart what it is that God is calling him to do. I know that I have found that calling for myself and I want so badly for him to be in the same place, but I obviously can't do that for him. For those of you who pray, please pray for my husband to find his path and for the ability to see it when God shows it to him. He so deserves it.

What The Hell?!!

So last Wednesday my oldest was puking his guts up all night. On Friday I was puking my guts up all night and I'm still recovering, and now I'm about to go pick up my husband because he has it coming out the other end at work. What the hell?!! Maybe what God is trying to tell me is that instead of planning to do all of these lists of things that I want to do, I need to focus on relaxing and taking better care of my health and my family's health so that we don't get sick so much anymore. I have been sick or taking care of someone who is sick my entire winter break. It's ridonkulous! I have a couple things that are non-negotiable to do before school starts (organizing the desk and my school notes) but I kind of give up on the other stuff. I guess I'm going to have to let go of being such a control freak and just let things happen organically. My OCD is yelling at me right now for saying that, but stress is just bad for business and I'm tired of being tired of being sick or my little people being sick. AND THEN, I was totally going through caffeine withdrawal. I couldn't figure out why I was having an all day headache since Saturday and then today my stomach finally felt well enough to have coffee (it's like my crack!) and I haven't had a headache all day. Isn't that horrible? I'm a coffee whore! Everyone has their vice I guess, it's just a good thing that mine tastes so delicious! LOL!

So I was looking over my class schedule today and I was trying to get out of taking a statistics class, but it turns out that I need that class in order to get my AA (Finally!) and I can't get away with taking an online Spanish class like I wanted to which would have been easier. That would be TOO easy. It's cool though I need a semester with a heavy course load because when I get to ASU there will be no B.S.-ing about classes. I will have to take what I need no matter how difficult the course load will be. I might as well get used to it now. At least I'll be done with math after this semester. Looking at all that lies before me as far as classes go is daunting sometimes, but I'm equally excited and I kind of can't wait to see how well I can do it. I feel like I'm finally up to the challenge and it will be more fun, and more work, than I think it will be, but in the long run I will absolutely love it. I've never been so excited about anything in my life. I wish everyone could feel like this when they look at their future. It's what I want more than anything for my boys. At times I wish I had felt like this when I was in college before because if I had, I would have finished everything that I wanted to, but at the same time, I don't think that I would be as appreciative of everything and I wouldn't be able to set the example I am setting for my boys and for my husband. As much as everything sucks (finances, sickness, etc.), MY LIFE IS GREAT!!

I Think I Can, I Think I Can!!

So I had a week of being totally and completely not motivated to do much of anything. I haven't even been running. So much for the half marathon at the end of the month. I have been doing more around the house since I actually have the time to cook and clean. The hardest part is feeling guilty because I'm not doing stuff I feel that I should be doing like cleaning and organizing things in the house. I had made a list of 10 things I wanted to do before I go back to school, which is in 10 days, and I have accomplished exactly 1 goal and got rid of 1. So now its going to be a mad rush to get at least most of those things done before I start school. I AM SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR!! I drive myself crazy sometimes. It's not intentional, but it is because there would be days where I would be watching Oprah (who I am totally obsessed with right now. Have you seen her channel OWN?! I'm so hooked.) and think "Hey, I should get up and go organize my school notes," or "I should finish the personal statement that I started last spring so I'll feel more motivated." I totally didn't and now I have 10 days! Now don't get me wrong, most of the stuff on my list is not really what a lot of other people would be doing but I feel like it is necessary in order to feel ready for the next semester and clutter free physically and mentally. I, unfortunately, have a bad habit of creating these goals that are a little OCD (not everyone actually wants to create their daily and weekly schedule or organize and keep all of their school notes in order) and when I don't accomplish these goals I beat myself up a little bit. Right now I feel like a fat ass because I haven't been working out but I haven't actually gained weight. I think that a lot of people must do that though. We set goals, that are sometimes unrealistic or unnecessary, and when we don't reach them we tell ourselves that we suck even though we know, logically, that we don't. Grrrrrrr! I'll have to keep you updated on my goal achievement for the next week.

This is my to do list:
1. Store and organize school notes
2. Go through box of papers
3. Create my personal statement
4. Make weekly and daily schedules
5. Plan weekly meals
6. Clean our refrigerator
7. Clean off table*
8. Reorganize desk
9. Look through anatomy book
* = it has been completed

We shall see. I think I can, I think I can!!