Yes I said it, 18 credit hours!!

I've been kind of crazy lately. Last week I was Crazy Cookie Lady and I kind of wore myself out. I had 2 tests and a paper due this week and this was a tough week because I just didn't have anything left in me. So I've decided I definitely have to get better at balancing my life out and not wearing myself too thin. When I thought about my transfer to ASU I knew it would be different then when I was at Phoenix College, but I didn't take into consideration how much my schedule would change and how much I depended on my schedule to help me do well in my classes. I follow a couple of other blogs of women who are currently in medical school and are mothers and the overwhelming theme I have heard from them is that it is necessary to live on a schedule and follow it in order to get through school successfully. I have definitely learned my lesson this semester and my life will be scheduled from now on.

So next semester I am taking 18 hours. I know, I'm crazy but they are all classes I need and I'm living by 2 rules: 1) if I have to I can drop a class and 2) if I can't make it through a 18 credit semester, how am I going to make it through medical school? I am taking Organic Chemistry I, Physics I, Calculus for Health Sciences, Death and Dying in Different Cultures, and an honors class on how food creates community. The Death and Dying class is online and I think it will be very interesting and the honors class is once a week and we'll be going to different organic farms every week. I also am able to schedule time at school to study 3 days a week in between classes. I think its going to work. With the exception of Monday I will be done with my classes no later than 3:13 everyday. Monday is my Hell Day because I will be at school from 10:45am to 9pm at night but I will get both my recitations and my O. Chem lab out of the way. Only time will tell I guess. At least after next semester I can really start studying for the MCAT that I will be taking in another year and a half. Aaaaaaahh!

So these have felt like really tough times lately. My husband has not found a job and really if he found one it would make everything more complicated because we would have to do something with our youngest son and hope that he would get out of work before our oldest gets out of school. We get some money every month from apartments that my husband owns with his business partner, but it really just covers our phone bill, insurance and a couple tanks of gas. What makes it difficult right now is that its the beginning of the holiday season and both of our boys' birthdays are during this time of year. I would say that I am not really as stressed about our situation as I have been in the past, but I feel bad that I can't get for my kids what I would like to get. We are fortunate though that we have taught our children to be thankful for everything that they get, no matter the size. We are also fortunate to have family that is understanding of our situation and is more then willing to help us with the things the boys need. I know that we are on the path that God has set for us so I am still working on being patient and surrendering to Him.

Oprah's Pretty Bomb Too. :-)

So this has been an interesting few weeks. I have been doing a lot of studying and doing relatively well in my classes, but at the same time I am having difficulty focusing on school like I have in the past. It is not for a lack of interest or a lack of challenge because my classes are very challenging and I like the subject matter of my classes most of the time (still can't wrap my head around certain parts of chemistry, try as I might) but I feel like my brain is either preoccupied with other things that I do not necessarily want to be preoccupied by or, well really I just don't know. When I buckle down and make myself study, I do just fine and no matter how tired I am I have the energy to do that without a problem. I feel at time like my brain and thoughts are foggy and scattered. It's frustrating. There are times when I feel like I am not understanding or getting something, only to discover I do understand it and I can even explain it to others successfully. Either way, I was able to get an A on my last nutrition test (WOOO-HOOO!!) and I am waiting for the scores on my biology and chemistry tests. My fingers are crossed and many prayers have been said.

So lately I have been considering the notion of starting my own home-based baking business making cookies. The idea is to allow them to fund my running hobby AND, most importantly, allow me to give back to people. I would like to be able to allocate a certain amount of money from each cookie sold to be donated to various charities and organizations that fund research for different diseases. A large majority of the races that happen throughout the year are to raise money for different causes (breast cancer, AIDS, multiple sclerosis, etc.) and my hope is to be able to run at least 1 race per month and whatever money is raised for donations in the previous month I will be able to donate to that race while still making a small profit to be able to run and help my family out. I have looked into it extensively and it would be fairly easy to start and has very low start-up costs. The hardest thing would be to make the time to bake and network to get the word out. I have a lot of resources for getting the word out and I have even entertained the idea about using the cookies to help other people raise funds to donate to the cause of their choice whether it be for a run or not. It is in my heart to do this and I actually had the idea while I was running a couple of weeks ago. Over this weekend I am going to work on my business plan and make some cookies to give away to get some feedback on whether people are interested in buying them and to practice a little.

I was watching Oprah's Lifeclass this morning and I believe that God gives you signs all the time but they have to come at the right time and you have to be open to receive them and acknowledge them when you do. I have been feeling discouraged lately because our financial situation is once again becoming difficult, added to the fact that our boys' birthdays are both in the next month. Also, I am not sure how fast I can really begin this business venture I would like to start and how fast it would actually be able to benefit us. Added to that are some health concerns I have been having which I really think I'm overreacting about, but are there nonetheless. In one of the clips from her life class show she first said something as I was actually thinking it in my head. Like her voice and my voice in my head were talking at the same time. "Through God all things are possible." The second thing she said is, "Whatever you believe deeply, you will create." I almost started crying. For some reason Oprah speaks to me in a way that makes me believe even more deeply in what my beliefs are and makes me feel more confident about what I want to create. I am going to become a doctor because I believe I am here to enrich people's lives and make some type of mark in the world in a positive way. What I have been somewhat struggling with is that I do not feel as though practicing medicine is the only way I am supposed to do that but I was unsure about how else to do that. I have been feeling though that I needed to start my life's work now and not wait until I graduate from medical school. I am still soaking in all of these ideas, but I think I see where my path is heading. God is great. Oprah's pretty bomb too.

Our Lives Are Full of Possibilities

My first week of exams is over and I survived. I now know #1: I need to start studying NOW for my next tests, and #2: I will make it. I had tests in nutrition (241), biology (182) and chemistry (116 or 152). I got a B, an A and a B, respectively. I am not very happy about the B's but it at least means I can still get A's in those classes if I study more. I very much like my classes and instructors so I know can get to where I need to be. I aim for all A's which might seem a little crazy, but I hope to have the luxury of choosing where I want to go to medical school, instead of hoping I get chosen. To a certain extent anyway. All in all, I feel very good about school and I am really enjoying it.

The only thing that is kind of dragging me down right now is the tiredness I feel all the time. There are days when it is not so bad, but then there are days (like today) where I just feel exhausted after getting a full nights sleep. Its kind of frustrating because I feel like I am taking good care of myself by running 3 times a week, doing yoga and trying to make better choices about the food I eat. It makes the health issues I faced a couple of years ago come back to the forefront. I try not to think of the possibility of what some of the symptoms I have been having may mean, but sometimes it can be hard to not think about it. I suppose I should go back to the doctor and talk to him about some of these symptoms, but its so easy to find excuses not to go. Part of it may be that I do not want to know what they could mean. Considering what it is I want to do (be a physician), you would think that I would be running to go see the doctor, but I have seen that many health professionals do not take care of themselves very well and the reasoning behind that may be that they already know what the symptoms may mean and do not want to deal with it and add it to the already full plate that life has become. So why not start now right? LOL!

Outside of school, my family has been phenomenal. Despite the fact that my husband still does not have a job, it has been great to see him be able to spend more time with our little people and my appreciation for him as grown because he has been infinitely understanding of my needs and the needs of our boys. We are celebrating our 4 year anniversary this week and it has really made me reflect on where we were and where we are now. Although financially we struggle and, quite honestly, do not know where our next check is going to come from, God always finds a way to make sure we have what we need for us and for our little guys. That fact continues to reassure me that we are still on the path that He he asks of us. I feel as though this has been a build up that will culminate in my husband truly finding himself, finding his path and believing in himself enough to pursue it. I truly feel like the possibilities are endless.

I Am Nothing Without the People In My Life, And They're Pretty Cool

I have to say that school is pretty amazing! My classes and instructors are fantastic. So my CHM 116 instructor is awesome but I feel kind of lost at times because I HATE CHEMISTRY! Really I just don't feel like the class I took at community college prepared me. It doesn't help that I just have such a hard time comprehending the concepts at times. I'm not wired that way. My instructor is awesome though and I like the way he explains things. My NTR 241 instructor is, in my mind, a walking nutrition encyclopedia. She is one of the authors of the textbook we use and she knows endless amounts of information. It's amazing to me. I just want to pick her brain. Needless to say I really enjoy that class. My BIO 182 instructor is a geeky looking guy who was a researcher at one time and is quite obviously super smart. He has a really good way of explaining things and he's pretty funny. I like his class very much but his lack of organization may drive crazy. I'm a little OCD with my school stuff. Maybe a lot OCD. My HSC 300 (Complementary Healthcare) class is cool. It's kind of my easy class, but my instructor used to be a chiropractor and he is a wealth of knowledge. He gives no homework and he said all his tests will be multiple choice. I will take it! He's really cool though and I spent an hour last week talking to him after class about how I wanted to be a doctor and about some alternative therapies that are used in chiropractic care that I feel might benefit me to learn for osteopathic care. He also gave me some guidance concerning volunteering and people I should connect with. Super cool!! All in all I love the experiences I'm having at school. Chemistry may kick my ass a little, but I will get it it done...hopefully with an A.

My little people have been awesome. Our 6 y.o. is in 2nd grade and he's doing pretty well. He's in a class with almost all girls, which is interesting, but he really likes it. I'm super excited that he's in the gifted program but at the same time concerned that the one day a week he willing be getting just won't be enough for him. I am understanding more and more the state of our educational system in Arizona. It's kind of sad. I guess we'll just have to do it ourselves then. My 3 y.o. is a trip. He is totally Mr. Personality. He totally knows how cute he is and just amazes me. I'm so excited for him to go to school next year because I know he'll love it. We have him working too. He's got workbooks and flashcards and a new writing tablet. He is set!

My husband has been absolutely phenomenal! I don't know what I would do if he didn't support me the way he does. I take my oldest to school in the morning and wake up with the little people, but after I leave, he's SuperDaddy! He spends all day with our 3 y.o., picks our 6 y.o. up from school and makes dinner at least 3 times a week. AND, he doesn't complain. Because I am at school ALL DAY  on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he gets the boys all to himself ALL DAY!! I remember those days and it can be a lot but he's totally cool with it. Despite the financial difficulties we have had while my husband has been out of work, I don't think that either one of us would change what we have been experiencing with our boys. The time we have been able to spend with the kids and with each other has been life-changing. I've never been more appreciative of the little things and how having simply the things we NEED is enough. I'm so excited to say that we will be celebrating our 4th anniversary on the 20th. Woo-hoo! You're the bestest baby!

Big Kid School is Super Cool!

Yay! School started last week!! I have awesome professors and I think my schedule will work out well. I'm taking BIO 182, CHM 116 (2nd semester for majors), NTR 241, and HSC 300 (Complementary Healthcare). I feel really confident about all my classes except my chemistry. Part of it is because its more math than what I care for and partly because some of the words I see on my syllabus and in the book are like a foreign language to me. I'm liking the professor though and I think I will get through it. It is definitely a different atmosphere from community college. I have a couple 100 people classes and there are just so many people everywhere. I'm not even on the main campus but it seems like a lot to me. I really like it though.

The one thing that I found somewhat overwhelming is the amount I had to pay for books. I could have potentially paid $800 for books. HEART ATTACK! I decided to get a netbook and get 2 of my books as etexts so I still paid the $800, but I don't have 2 huge ass books (chemistry and biology) to lug around and I have something I can use for a few years for other etexts and to do work on while I'm at school. It made sense to do but I have found it hard to spend the money. I got a pretty good amount for financial aid since I got the loans as well, but it went really fast. I am a worrier by nature and I had these ideas of grandeur about paying bills ahead of time so we wouldn't have to worry about them since my husband is still without a job, but that is definitely not going to happen. My husband has had to talk me into feeling comfortable with it by telling me its for school and that is what the money is supposed to be for. It's tough for me. I am trying (not as hard as I should) to put it in God's hands but finances have been a big worry for me. I guess I just have to keep telling myself, "I put it in Your hands (God). I surrender to You." Pray that I have the strength to surrender.

What a summer!

I didn't realize it had been basically all summer since I had been on here. It was a very busy summer and I just felt like taking a break from blogging for a while. I'm on it now though! I am super excited for school to start on Thursday. I took 2 summer classes, A&P 2 and World Religions over the summer. A&P kicked my ass but I made it out with an A. It was a lot of information to take in in short amount of time. It was cool though and I am very happy that I took it with the spectacular instructor I had (love you Heather!). World religions sucked because it was online and the instructor didn't seem all that interested in the class. No feedback, it took awhile for him to respond. That's ok, it was all I needed to get college diploma #1.

The last 4 weeks have been fun with my little people and my husband. I found out that the deal with my knee was not as serious as they had thought at first. I definitely do have arthritis (which I had already suspected) and I have patellar tracking disorder which basically means my knee is off track and it causes almost identical symptoms to a meniscus tear. God had a plan though, and although He wanted to make sure I did not work, He didn't want me to have to go through surgery to fix the issue. What it really comes down to is I have to deal with it and find ways to alleviate the pain as well as get stronger. The doctor gave me a shot (which sucked ass!!) and it seems to have helped alot. I am back on my running though and I am planning on doing the PF Changs Rock n Roll half marathon in January. It feels good to be back on it.

My husband has been super spectacular despite the fact that he has not found a job. He is trying to put together a non-profit organization for kids so they can play basketball, volleyball, and eventually a few other sports. There are a lot of things he wants to incorporate, but he's starting out with basketball because that is what we love but there is so much more he wants to get into like child care. God is definitely showing him that he is on the right path, but it feels as though there is something missing. All we can do is stay prayerful and be open to what it is that He asks from us.

So ASU seems like it is going to be absolutely phenomenal. I cannot wait! I decided to only take 14 credits this semester so that I don't overwhelm myself in this first semester. I will have very full days but its going to be awesome. I have also become part of an organization that I think will be very  beneficial for students on campus. It's called D.A.N.T.S. (Downtown Association for Non-Traditional Students). I am the Officer of Budget and I am really hoping that it becomes something that really welcomes the older, adult students at the Downtown campus. It's going to be a lot of work but I think it will really be beneficial for members as well as the officers. Of course it will make my application more appealing for medical school, but in the today, it could really make a difference in how people view and fell about their college experience. My hope is that instead of feeling like there is no support or that the young "kids" in class cannot relate to us as mature students with jobs and/or families, that we can feel like there is a community that can relate to our experience and is willing to understand and listen when we need it. The people I have met thus far have been awesome. I can't wait!!!!

Are You Going to Use Those Coupons?

Wow! It's been a month since I last posted. My A&P class has really been kicking my ass. I am doing well but it has felt like I am always studying for a test or a lab practical. This is my last week though so I am really excited. The class has been awesome, and my instructor even more so, but I have to say that I probably would not take a class with a lab in the summer again. Although I have done well on the tests and I have an A in the class, I feel like I am not learning the information as thoroughly as I would like to and I'm just kind of regurgitating on the tests. Although I have almost 2 months off before I start the fall semester, I will probably be reviewing this class and focusing on book I found about the breakdown of medical terminology. I say that I have nothing else I will be doing, when in fact I am also taking a World Religions class. I like the class though and it is entirely online and really isn't that difficult.

I am really looking forward to spending more time with my boys, adult one included, and just hanging out. I have found a new "hobby" though. I say "hobby" but it has become somewhat of an OCD obsession. Have you watched Extreme Couponing? I wouldn't say I go to those extremes, but I do have a book for my coupons, I very rarely shop without coupons and I get daily emails about coupons. I will very likely do it even more when this class is done because I will have more time to find coupons and go to stores to find deals. My husband and mother in law thought I was crazy when I first started a few weeks ago, but I have since converted them. I have gotten stuff for free or almost free. I have started "stockpiling" stuff because it is totally worth it. My husband still has not found a job so we have to find the cheapest way of getting everything. It's kind of fun too, for me anyway. Lol! It's like a scavenger hunt to find the best deals. I think a lot of the ladies on that show are kind of crazy (Who REALLY needs 125 candy bars or 400 boxes of cereal?) but I feel like it really does help when you don't have the money to buy household items. I mean, I do get food items, but the non-food items are really the best deals because they tend to be so expensive (not that I didn't get 9 bottles of BBQ sauce for free yesterday! LOL!) and they are still necessary despite their price sometimes. I'm totally OCD about it so I'm trying to keep it under control but there are so many coupons!

So I ended up having to go to an orthopedic surgeon a couple of weeks ago and last week I got an MRI on my knee. I'm supposed to go talk about my results next week but I'm pretty certain that I will be getting surgery and returning to physical therapy. When I went to see the doctor he told me that I in fact do have arthritis, which I had been told I did not, and that he could see some "stuff" in the back of my knee that is not supposed to be there. So what I am guessing is that some of my meniscus may have torn off completely and is basically floating around in my joint. To be honest, I was really excited to go see him because I have been thinking that I want to go into orthopedics after med school. If I could, I would totally want to watch my surgery but I'm pretty sure they do not allow that. I did find out that my doctor does have residents at his practice which I am excited about and when I go next week I am going to ask him if he allows shadowing in the practice since he is one of the owners. How exciting!!

OH!! How could I forget?! Last week I was accepted into Barrett Honors College at ASU. Woo-hoo! I am so freaking excited. I've already registered for at least one honors class and I may get into one more of the instructor allows it. There is this really cool program I want to try to get into with the Mayo Clinic for pre-med students. It's really exciting for me and I'm really looking forward to it. I just need to get through this week. ;-)