I Am Working for What My Heart Is Saying

Two weeks until my finals!! Of course I have all three of my finals on the same day with my first one being at 7:30 in the morning. Booooooooo! I am so not a morning person if I'm required to think. Getting up early to run, no problem. Getting up early and having to process information, problem. It's why I stopped taking classes before 9 in the morning. Well, we shall see how it goes. I am ready for this semester to be over. It wasn't horrible but its been a lot of work and I'm ready to spend a whole week watching Grey's Anatomy and finally working out on a regular basis again. I get 3 weeks off before I start my physics class. I'm good with that class though because its all I'm taking. I am taking a class over the second summer session as well (HSC 320: Applications of Medical/Healthcare Ethics) but it is online. I'm not really sure what to expect from that class. That class will take me right to the Fall semester. I think its good though because I know that I would get lazy if I didn't do anything. I am also going to be doing research over the summer that will likely continue until I'm done with my undergrad and I'm REALLY excited about that.

I'm going to be working with an exercise and wellness professor who wants to start a pilot program that targets at risk children who are overweight/obese at a local health clinic and creates a program that allows the children to become more physically active and also teaches children how to be healthier. He would like to incorporate a nutrition education program and I have asked him if I can put that together for him as my contribution as well as my honors thesis project. The hope is that the clinic we will be working with and the City of Phoenix recreation centers develop of relationship, along with ASU, that allows this program to expand and remain in place for an extended amount of time. For my portion of the program I am hoping to incorporate local foods and bring some to the children involved in the program so that they can see some different examples of what is good for their bodies as well as why it is good for them. I am also hoping that I will be able to engage the parents in the program and provide them with some nutrition education as well as resources that will help them use that knowledge. If you can't tell, I'm really excited about this! I am going to be able to really dig into this research for 2 full years and have a contribution that can really change peoples lives. That is the ultimate reward for me, it is why I am going to be a doctor, to make a positive impact on people's lives. I could talk about it all day, but I won't....today.

My new mantra has become: "I am working for what my heart is saying."

Time To Get My Study On!

School has been craziness! So I ended up with 19 credits because I added a 1 credit honors class that helps us begin to figure out the subject for our honors thesis project. In the honors college, you have to complete a thesis project to graduate with honors. It's kind of exciting because you get to develop an idea about something you find interesting or have a passion for and create whatever kind of project you feel is viable to convey your ideas and research. I have a great idea about what I want to do and it centers around nutrition education for school-age children but doing it in a way that engages their senses. My idea centers around bringing the experience of going to a farm to children and introducing them to fruits and vegetables they may never have been introduced before as well as creating an understanding why it is important to incorporate produce of different colors into their diets. I'm still in the planning stages but I think it may be very possible I just have to do some more background research and find a method of delivery that is viable to continue long term. It's kind of exciting, to me anyway.

Aside from my thesis, I also ended up withdrawing from my physics class last week. It was one of the hardest decision I've had to make in my college career because a withdraw stays on your school transcripts but I couldn't take the chance of not getting the grade I wanted in the class nor could I continue taking a class that I felt I was not learning from. I felt like the professor taught her class as though she was teaching a group of physic majors who had full understanding of what she was teaching when in reality the class is full of pre-med and kinesiology majors. It was very frustrating because I was really trying to understand what I was learning but she just didn't make it an atmosphere conducive to learning if you did not already understand the concepts. Physics is an entire section on the MCAT and it just didn't seem worth my time to continue taking a class that I just wasn't getting knowing full well I would have to re-teach myself all of the information I was supposed to be learning. I'm still taking the lab (and I have an A, which is ridiculous) but I will be taking the class over the summer all by itself. It has lifted a load off my shoulders because now I can focus more on organic chemistry and calculus. It is very possible I could get A's in both classes if I get my focus together and get my study on!

Life outside of school has been really great. My little people are really phenomenal and it's been really exciting to see them becoming more mature and growing. I'm trying to get my biggest little person to realize all that he is capable of doing. He's so smart and sometimes he just doesn't realize it. Maybe that's a good thing though. I am trying to get him into a different school because he just isn't getting challenged the way that he should be despite being in the "gifted program." We are on the waiting list at 2 different schools so we are playing the waiting game now. Everything for my wonderful husband has been falling into place. He has been coaching for the City of Phoenix at a local community center and he recently turned in the necessary paperwork so that he can be contracted to teach a Little Dribblers class and possible do some clinics. He will be coaching again for the city starting this coming week, but this time it will be 2 age groups. Our oldest is playing basketball this time so he will be coaching a 5-7 year old team as well as the 11-13 year old team he coached before. It's really great to see him so excited about what he is doing. On top of that he got a call back from the athletic director of a local high school who wants him to join the coaching staff of the boys basketball team.On my spring break, we'll be going to Phoenix College so that he can register for classes and pursue his degree as well. We'll have 2 students in the house. Lol! God is great and we couldn't be happier with where He is leading us right now.

We're Getting There God

So January has really thrown me into utter madness. Not necessarily in a bad way, but life feels hectic all the time. As much as I studied the last 2 years, I have to study more this semester than I ever have in order to maintain the grades I need. I spend several hours during the week studying at school and at home and then most of my weekends are spend studying, doing homework and preparing for class. Organic chemistry at once worried me the most, but I have found that my instructors were correct and O Chem is a whole different beast from general chemistry. I actually kind of like it. For me, it makes sense and the purpose of it is very understandable to me. Not so say that it is easy or that I don't have to prepare myself for every class and every lab (pre-labs alone take me at least 3-4 hours every week) but the understanding of it is where I need it to be. Now physics is a whole other thing. I have an instructor that obviously has a tremendous understanding of the subject matter, but she does not break it down in a manner that allows me to begin mastering the information. Along with that she has a fairly thick accent that adds to fact that its just not sinking into my head. I may be able to keep up through out the semester if I read ALL of EVERY chapter and if my favorite school buddy, Rebekah, continues to explain certain parts to me but I am worried because physics is an entire section on the MCAT and if I don't have complete understanding of the subject my score may suffer. I may actually have to venture to the Tempe campus for the second semester of physics to gain the understanding I need to have. Blah.

 Life other than that has is pretty great. My husband, despite losing his job, is really excited about doing what is in his heart to do: basketball. He has 2 kids he is training every week and he started coaching a team of 11-13 year olds and he loves it. His mind is finally getting to where it needed to be for him to do this full time. I'm really proud of him. In my heart I have felt that he really needs to pursue his degree because it will open so many doors for him to coach but he just wasn't ready for it before and I think he finally is able to think that far ahead. Of course, what I want and what he wants may be 2 different things and I tend to think I'm right most of the time (which I usually am :-) but I think that he is finally in a frame of mind to prepare himself for the future he envisions. God keeps showing us where we need to be and what we need to be doing, we're getting there.

And So Begins Another Semester!

The last month has been a crazy busy one but has been really great. Once finals started I really just dug in and I ended up with 2 A's (BIO 182 and HSC 300 - Complementary Healthcare) and 2 B+'s (CHM 151 and NTR 241). It was a tough semester but it was a really good learning experience. I see now what I have to do to get the grades I need and how I needed to change my mindset a little bit in order to do well. I am really excited about the spring semester. My classes are actually going to be tougher then last semester but I really feel like I'm ready for it and they are classes I am interested in. After finals I really just decided to stay away from the computer and let my mind rest for the 2.5 weeks I had off, if you even want to call them time off. I felt busier in those 2 weeks then I had been most of the semester. We were doing Christmas shopping for the boys and then I felt like I was getting ready for New Years for a week. It was really nice though. I made some pretty spectacular food and I got to spend time with my monkeys and my husband. It was pretty awesome.

So my classes a started last Thursday (1/5) and I feel pretty good after having the 1st of all of my classes. I feel ready for Organic Chemistry with full understanding that it will be A LOT of work. Calculus will not be as horrible as I thought it would be but I have to make sure to stay on top of all my work. My Death and Dying class seems pretty interesting and it seems like it will bring forth a lot of self reflection. My Food in Community class is one of my honors classes and it seems really cool. Every other week we will be going on excursion and this week we are going to Food Truck Friday in downtown Phoenix. Super excited!! Today I had Physics and as terrified as I was of this class, I think I will be alright. She seems to not want to scare anyone and has made it clear that we need to review and work several problems to understand the subject matter. I think I will make it. :-)

On another note, my husband found out today that he was let go from the job he had started in November. My brain wants to go into panic mode, but I have to remind myself that God and I had a discussion and I told Him that I would surrender to what it was He had planned for us. My husband had prayed for something that would allow us to give the boys to have a great holiday season (which they did) and now I think it is time for him to find what his heart leads him to. As difficult as it is, my heart tells me we will be ok and God will, again, provide us with what we need. I just need my brain and my heart to get on the same page.

A Schizophrenic Life!

Life has felt like utter CRAZINESS!! It's been all good though. So, my husband finally found a job that he likes very much. It is in a pharmaceutical warehouse and they are expanding so although it is a temp to hire position, it is extremely likely they will keep him past the 90 days. The possibility for growth is there too since it is developing and they want to promote from within. It has been such a blessing. He works Wednesday through Saturday, four 10 hour shifts and goes in at 5 and gets off around 3:30. It allows him to still be able to see me and the kids after work, watch our little one 2 days out of the week and provide for us. My dad has been watching the boys on the days that my husband works and he is all too happy to do it because it fills his days. The boys love it too. We both feel like a weight has been lifted. We will be able to go Christmas shopping this weekend and not have to worry about where the next check is going to come from. When you trust in God, He will provide for you in His time, and it may or may not coincide with your time but if you have faith and surrender, He will not leave you without.

School has been hectic. I am finally in the home stretch. I can definitely get 2 A's (biology and complementary healthcare). In nutrition I am right on the cusp between an A and a B. I have to kill the final to get an A. My instructor posted yesterday that if we donated to a food drive they have for HIV/AIDS patients, she would give us 1 point for every item we bring with a maximum of 5 points. I have a whole box of stuff, like 15 things, just in case she feels extra generous and wants to give a little extra. I figured out my grade in the class and if I get a 90% on the final, I will be at an 89%. That's how close I am. In chemistry, I am on the cusp of a B and a C. He breaks down his percentages for grades a little different, but hopefully I can make the cut. I feel like I aced the test today but I still doubt myself a little.

I have 1 paper to write and 3 tests to take and then I'm free! Not really, I have 3 weeks off between the semesters and I really want to get some stuff done around the house and review some stuff for the next semester. I have a couple books that I would like to read too. I also want to run and work out a bit more since I have the time and my intention is to run the half marathon in February. I figure if I pay for it I can't and won't procrastinate, right? Lol! I got it though. I haven't been able to run lately because my allergies have been crazy and I have a gross cough that is exacerbated by cold air and laying down. Isn't that a combination? So running out in the cold is no bueno and it doesn't let me sleep comfortably without getting the NetiPot out every night. So now that I have written down all this "stuff" I want to do during my break, it sounds schizophrenic. And so are the days of my life!

Yes I said it, 18 credit hours!!

I've been kind of crazy lately. Last week I was Crazy Cookie Lady and I kind of wore myself out. I had 2 tests and a paper due this week and this was a tough week because I just didn't have anything left in me. So I've decided I definitely have to get better at balancing my life out and not wearing myself too thin. When I thought about my transfer to ASU I knew it would be different then when I was at Phoenix College, but I didn't take into consideration how much my schedule would change and how much I depended on my schedule to help me do well in my classes. I follow a couple of other blogs of women who are currently in medical school and are mothers and the overwhelming theme I have heard from them is that it is necessary to live on a schedule and follow it in order to get through school successfully. I have definitely learned my lesson this semester and my life will be scheduled from now on.

So next semester I am taking 18 hours. I know, I'm crazy but they are all classes I need and I'm living by 2 rules: 1) if I have to I can drop a class and 2) if I can't make it through a 18 credit semester, how am I going to make it through medical school? I am taking Organic Chemistry I, Physics I, Calculus for Health Sciences, Death and Dying in Different Cultures, and an honors class on how food creates community. The Death and Dying class is online and I think it will be very interesting and the honors class is once a week and we'll be going to different organic farms every week. I also am able to schedule time at school to study 3 days a week in between classes. I think its going to work. With the exception of Monday I will be done with my classes no later than 3:13 everyday. Monday is my Hell Day because I will be at school from 10:45am to 9pm at night but I will get both my recitations and my O. Chem lab out of the way. Only time will tell I guess. At least after next semester I can really start studying for the MCAT that I will be taking in another year and a half. Aaaaaaahh!

So these have felt like really tough times lately. My husband has not found a job and really if he found one it would make everything more complicated because we would have to do something with our youngest son and hope that he would get out of work before our oldest gets out of school. We get some money every month from apartments that my husband owns with his business partner, but it really just covers our phone bill, insurance and a couple tanks of gas. What makes it difficult right now is that its the beginning of the holiday season and both of our boys' birthdays are during this time of year. I would say that I am not really as stressed about our situation as I have been in the past, but I feel bad that I can't get for my kids what I would like to get. We are fortunate though that we have taught our children to be thankful for everything that they get, no matter the size. We are also fortunate to have family that is understanding of our situation and is more then willing to help us with the things the boys need. I know that we are on the path that God has set for us so I am still working on being patient and surrendering to Him.

Oprah's Pretty Bomb Too. :-)

So this has been an interesting few weeks. I have been doing a lot of studying and doing relatively well in my classes, but at the same time I am having difficulty focusing on school like I have in the past. It is not for a lack of interest or a lack of challenge because my classes are very challenging and I like the subject matter of my classes most of the time (still can't wrap my head around certain parts of chemistry, try as I might) but I feel like my brain is either preoccupied with other things that I do not necessarily want to be preoccupied by or, well really I just don't know. When I buckle down and make myself study, I do just fine and no matter how tired I am I have the energy to do that without a problem. I feel at time like my brain and thoughts are foggy and scattered. It's frustrating. There are times when I feel like I am not understanding or getting something, only to discover I do understand it and I can even explain it to others successfully. Either way, I was able to get an A on my last nutrition test (WOOO-HOOO!!) and I am waiting for the scores on my biology and chemistry tests. My fingers are crossed and many prayers have been said.

So lately I have been considering the notion of starting my own home-based baking business making cookies. The idea is to allow them to fund my running hobby AND, most importantly, allow me to give back to people. I would like to be able to allocate a certain amount of money from each cookie sold to be donated to various charities and organizations that fund research for different diseases. A large majority of the races that happen throughout the year are to raise money for different causes (breast cancer, AIDS, multiple sclerosis, etc.) and my hope is to be able to run at least 1 race per month and whatever money is raised for donations in the previous month I will be able to donate to that race while still making a small profit to be able to run and help my family out. I have looked into it extensively and it would be fairly easy to start and has very low start-up costs. The hardest thing would be to make the time to bake and network to get the word out. I have a lot of resources for getting the word out and I have even entertained the idea about using the cookies to help other people raise funds to donate to the cause of their choice whether it be for a run or not. It is in my heart to do this and I actually had the idea while I was running a couple of weeks ago. Over this weekend I am going to work on my business plan and make some cookies to give away to get some feedback on whether people are interested in buying them and to practice a little.

I was watching Oprah's Lifeclass this morning and I believe that God gives you signs all the time but they have to come at the right time and you have to be open to receive them and acknowledge them when you do. I have been feeling discouraged lately because our financial situation is once again becoming difficult, added to the fact that our boys' birthdays are both in the next month. Also, I am not sure how fast I can really begin this business venture I would like to start and how fast it would actually be able to benefit us. Added to that are some health concerns I have been having which I really think I'm overreacting about, but are there nonetheless. In one of the clips from her life class show she first said something as I was actually thinking it in my head. Like her voice and my voice in my head were talking at the same time. "Through God all things are possible." The second thing she said is, "Whatever you believe deeply, you will create." I almost started crying. For some reason Oprah speaks to me in a way that makes me believe even more deeply in what my beliefs are and makes me feel more confident about what I want to create. I am going to become a doctor because I believe I am here to enrich people's lives and make some type of mark in the world in a positive way. What I have been somewhat struggling with is that I do not feel as though practicing medicine is the only way I am supposed to do that but I was unsure about how else to do that. I have been feeling though that I needed to start my life's work now and not wait until I graduate from medical school. I am still soaking in all of these ideas, but I think I see where my path is heading. God is great. Oprah's pretty bomb too.