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Monday, March 9, 2015

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

So I had somewhat of an epiphany a week and a half ago after being utterly exhausted after being up entirely too early in the morning with my daughter. I am standing in the way of my own success by creating obstacles and expectations that are completely not realistic. I had this idea in my head that I could and should be doing everything (taking care of my home, taking care of my kids, taking care of myself and preparing for the MCAT) by myself. In my head I not only thought I could do it but that I should be doing it and if I didn't, I was failing. And then, when I didn't meet my own ridiculous expectations, I became overwhelmed and just shut down, not making dinner, not cleaning the house, not studying, just doing (what I consider) the bare minimum of taking care of the kids and of myself. I have done this for 2 months! I've beating myself up because I've been unsuccessful at balancing a million things with my 2 hands. I didn't ask my husband for help, I didn't ask my mother-in-law for help, I didn't ask my dad for help and I didn't tell anyone that I felt like I was drowning. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I was almost delirious with exhaustion after getting 3 hours of sleep one night because my daughter (who is almost 9 months old) decided that waking up at 4:30 in the morning and playing for 3 hours was an amazing idea. Of course it was the night I decided to stay up a late as well. I have been tired for 8 months but that day just brought about the ultimate level of exhaustion. I began to rethink whether taking the MCAT and even applying to medical school this cycle was really what I should be doing. I had to really sit back and reevaluate EVERYTHING.

Sooooooo, what I have decided after talking to my family and asking for some help, I am going to take the next month and REALLY focus on studying so that I can take the April 17th MCAT. I figure even if I don't get the score I want, I will have experienced the environment of taking the exam, I have time to retake it before schools start setting up interviews and, in the case that I am ok with my score, IT WILL BE DONE AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT DAMN TEST AGAIN! I have a lot of information to cover and thinking that I will do well the first time I'm taking it is pretty unrealistic but crazier things have happened to me; I mean look at what I'm trying to do at the age of 36 with 3 kids. I have to believe that I have been put on this path to complete it.

"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."


  1. Hey, I have enjoyed reading your blog. And as a mother and hopeful future physician I understand your struggles 100%. I have also taken the MCAT more times than I would have liked. One thing I would like to share with you is, take the MCAT when you feel ready, with all the anxiety and stress that comes with the MCAT in general you may never truly think you're ready but if you devote as much time as you can without mentally/physically exhausting yourself to studying, do as many practice test as you possibly can and once you see great improvement in your practice test scores, then go for because the last thing you want to do is take the test and regret it once you see your score (trust me I know) because some admissions' offices are unforgiving. So if its April, June or July if you can make the 1st time your only time. Good luck in your studies!

  2. Hi. Love your blog!!! Be encouraged. Take your time with studying. Check out my blog if you want: