The last two weeks have been super busy with papers, tests and a speech but I'm here, I got through them and now I have a little down time, so to speak. Organic chemistry test #2 was yesterday and walking away from that test I had a better feeling then on the first test. I also had a physics test that I definitely did horrible on but I expected that because I didn't study for it at all since I also had a speech to give on Monday. I killed the speech though. Despite being ridonkulously nervous I knew my subject (parents changing their child's diet) very well because it has become a passion of mine and I was really looking forward to it. I am all about the food rainbow. ;-)
So I have come to the realization that I am not supposed to be working at this point in time. I don't pretend to be someone who preaches about God or what he has or hasn't done in my life because I am not, but there are certain things I have chosen in my life that I feel have been directed by God/a higher power/whatever you call that force. For me, becoming a doctor is a path chosen by God and I have accepted that path. The struggle concerning me working has been ongoing this last month. There have been a couple of positions I have applied for or wanted to apply for but many of them were pulled from the job board before I had a chance to apply or I never received a call back. I feel that if I forced the issue I would find a job but I have found that listening to God's subtle plans takes a great deal of patience and understanding and this is very much a time where I have to sit back and listen. I went many years not listening to the signs I was receiving from God. Many of the signs were not even subtle, they were blatant and obvious but I was not open to hear them. I have now accepted my path and the life that accompanies it even though it has been a struggle financially at times I know that it is all part of the path and these struggles will pass. One day I know we will be able to look back and say "Now I understand what You wanted us to learn from this," just like a parent does to his/her child.
I registered for Spring 2013 classes on Monday. My schedule is pretty nice. I will still be able to work comfortably on my research project for 2 credits while taking another 14 credits. I think the most difficu lt part will be having 2 online classes that last 8 weeks each. They do not occur concurrently but they are like summer school classes where you cram 16 weeks into half the time. I think I can swing it though and still be able to study for the MCAT and begin working on my personal statement. My goal right now is to take the test on May 30th and then begin the application process shortly after that. This timing will allow me to study throughout the semester and then have 3 full weeks after classes end to study for the MCAT. Applications open in the very beginning of June so I will have some sort of timetable as to when I will receive my scores back. Aaaaaaaaaahhh! It's so scary and exciting all at the same time.
On Saturday my biggest little person turns 8 years old. I feel like I don't know where the last 8 years went in many ways because I remember everything about being pregnant with him, having him and just being able to stare at this awesome little person for the first time. This past weekend he scored his first touchdown and he was so excited he didn't know what to do with himself and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin from excitement. I think that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding by far. Few days go by where I don't look at him and just think, "He's so awesome!" I am the proudest mommy ever